GASH: These €500 Mohair Cotton Buds Will Change Your Stupid Life

THERE’S a lot that the modern woman can do to ensure that she retains her inner glow while the miserable mundanities of her life threaten to swallow her whole. She can get herself a manicure, a pedicure, an Indian head-massage, a seaweed facial, a caffeine colonic, a vaginal steam-press, a full re-veining… but some of these procedures are time-consuming, and perhaps not within your price range right now.

That’s why we here at Gash have the alternative you’ve been waiting on; our exclusive range of pure mohair cotton buds, starting at just €500!

Feel the sensorial goodness of pure, tic-free mohair as it caresses your inner ear, removing waxes, imperfections, opinions contrary to your own that you may have heard earlier in the day, and everything that stops you from being the woman we know you were born to be.

Spun around a stem made from a single sun-hardened kelp artery, these chakra-centering cotton buds are suitable for cleaning ears, noses, navels and vaginal creases, making them an essential part of your daily cleansing hour.

Unlike regular cotton buds that may leave you feeling like you don’t deserve nice things that you’ve seen online, our limited edition Gash mohair buds are guaranteed to remove all negative energies from your feminine aura, enhancing your miserable, loveless existence while simultaneously making you immune to attack by banshee.

Gash Mohair buds, only €500 for three. Available from our online store NOW!