Gerry Adams Announces New Role As Amnesia Ireland Spokesperson


AFTER ANNOUNCING his decision to step down as Sinn Féin president in 2018, much speculation had been devoted to what was in store next for Ireland’s political saviour Gerry Adams. That speculation can now come to an end, as he has been confirmed as the spokesperson for Amnesia Ireland.

“We were searching for a high profile person who could talk of the devastating effects amnesia can have and who better than Gerry,” explained a spokesperson for the charity and awareness raising group.

“Normal, everyday people might know what it’s like to forget where you parked your car in a shopping centre car park, but Gerry can help people understand what it’s like to have absolutely no recollection of conversations with IRA victims, abuse victims and the family members of both abuse victims and the disappeared,” the spokesperson added.

While up to this point Adams, who had denied intentions to become a full time meme post-Sinn Féin presidency, has never spoken of his struggles with amnesia, it is hoped in his post-politics life his struggles can help others cope.

“We’re talking about possibly the world’s most high profile convenient ‘forgetterer’ of crucially important information. If people don’t hate amnesia and want to cure it after hearing how Gerry can’t remember anything of importance, then I don’t think there’s an alternative that can work,” concluded the spokesperson.

In a brief statement delivered after announcing he would step down a leader of Sinn Féin Adams spoke of his condition.

“It may be Amnesia Ireland’s recollection of events that I am to become their ambassador, but I do not recall such a conversation, on any such day in the future, past or present that they may come to mention. It’s simply untrue,” Adams confirmed before further softening everyone’s impression of him with another tweet.