5 Tragedies That Could Have Been Averted If A Member Of The Public Had A Gun


WITH yet another tragedy hitting the headlines in the US, many people have taken to social media to lament the fact that it all could have been avoided if law abiding US citizens simply had more guns.

As the liberal left slyly organise in the shadows to engage with meaningful data and information on guns, mental health, crime and inequality, and how they all play a part in tragedies like this, more patriotic and correct people are telling them where they can stick it.

Which, frankly, is sad, as then there is no room left to debate what is surely a senseless tragedy that could be rectified if a member of the public, who was not the person killing people with a gun, also had a gun.

WWN has thought long and hard on the issue and realised there are and will continue to be tragedies that can be avoided if people refuse to wake up and realise a member of the public could have stepped in and ended it if they had a gun too:

Tragedy one

Everyone has felt the anguish of opening a fridge only to find there are no beers left. If you had a gun you could shoot into the ceiling until a neighbour or good samaritan came to your aid. Upon seeing you with your gun and beerless fridge they could purchase alcohol for you thus avoiding a major tragedy.

Tragedy two

Is there a greater tragedy than odd socks? If you find yourself with only odd pairs, but are in a possession of a gun, this needless tragedy transforms into a non-tragedy. Simply shoot one sock in a bid to teach the other odd socks a lesson. Soon they will all change into the same colour as each other in a bid to survive.

Tragedy three

Someone overtakes you at speed on the road, but you don’t have a gun; tragedy. But if you have a gun you can ask it to drive the car for you.

Tragedy four

Sometimes typing at speed you can mistakenly spell tragedy as ‘tradegy’. The mind racing as quickly as your fingers, mistakes are bound to be made. But why settle for this tragedy when you can improve the situation with a gun. That keyboard embarrassed you, and it needs to be taught a lesson. Point a gun at it, and demand it signs up for a 6-week ‘friendship and respect course’, that will exist once you drive down to the local community centre and demand it be invented while you point a gun at staff.

Tragedy five

You’ve lost the remote and have been left with no method of channel changing, but you have no gun. Someone on the television is saying something about guns you don’t agree with. But you can’t find the remote. The only way you can stop them from telling your brain things you don’t like is to go out and get a gun, and proceed to where they are filming their TV show and teach them a lesson they’ll never forget. But first you’ve got to sort out getting your beer, disciplining your odd socks and keyboard, and invent gun-driving-car technology.