Polish Lads: A Performance Review


HI, take a seat.

So, you Eastern European tradesmen have been working in the country for a generation or so, and you all seem to perfectly okay with how we refer to you all as ‘Polish’ rather than the nationality you actually are. It’s just so hard for us Irish people to take the time to differentiate between Latvian and Estonian people, so thanks for meeting us in the middle on that on. Okay, just a few points with today’s review, nothing to worry about. Let’s begin:

1) Punctuality

First of all, I just want to say that there’s nobody upset at you, okay, you’re doing nothing wrong here. But there have been numerous instances when you all have shown up to do whatever painting, carpentry, plumbing or tiling that you’ve been contracted to do, at the exact time that you’ve said you would arrive.

Look, we know that’s the way you’re used to doing things back in Poland or wherever, but in Ireland if a tradesman says he’s going to come on Monday at 11AM, he really means that he might come on Thursday at 8 at night. You guys seem to arrive at the time that you’ve agreed with the customer, and that seems to be confusing a lot of Irish people. Again, we’re not angry, but it’s something that you might need to keep in mind in future.

2) Communication

Guys, we’d just like to say that it’s great how you lads work in pairs, really. And the way that you all seem to have paired up so that one of you has perfect English while the other one doesn’t seem to speak a single word, is really quite unique.

Customers are really happy with how they can line out exactly how you should go about your job by speaking to you like you’re a fucking idiot, while you simply smile and say that it’s ‘no problem’, before turning to your non-English speaking pal and convey the nine minutes of what they just yammered on about with two lines of Polish. Keep it up.

3) Equipment

Lads? Having all the equipment and materials needed to complete a job before you arrive? Loving it. But if we’re being critical, and that’s really our job here, to create helpful criticism, it’s maybe a little bit unfair to those tradesmen who prefer to opt for an approach where they show up, look around, head out to ‘get stuff’ and then disappear for a month. Maybe just try to see things from their point of view for a while.


Okay so overall, very pleased with your work. If you were to take anything from this review, please just try to see it from the point of view of tradesmen who have been in the country a lot longer than you have. Those that have worked for years to create an environment where they can charge whatever they like, work whenever it suits them, and really just doing whatever they want.

When you came over here first you weren’t much of a threat to them thanks to our country’s natural xenophobia, but ten years down the line all that has been forgotten thanks to your work ethic and craftsmanship. But still… leave something for the rest of the team, okay? Blame some of your poor workmanship on someone else every now and then, overcharge a few elderly people, that kind of thing. Let’s keep the playing field a bit fair, okay?