Politicians Voted For Their Favourite Funeral Spread And The Results Are In

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AS dying season slowly approaches for thousands of people this Winter, the results of a new Leinster House poll taken by Irish politicians on their favourite funeral spreads have been published this week.

Spanning back centuries, the attendance of political figures at local funerals in a bid to gain votes has continued to rise along with the ever increasing population, as with the knock-on death toll effect.

“I’ve been at a few cracking funerals so far this year,” one Tipperary based TD explains, “but not one of the spreads could beat poor old Dan Courtney’s afters. His wife laid out not only several different variations of meat and salad, but the gourmet sausage rolls she cooked with the homemade BBQ dip was something to die for.

“Top marks all round and fair play to the kids for keeping our plates topped up as we worked the room”.

Another TD, this time from North Dublin, echoed his Tipperary counterparts gourmet sausage roll vote, but insisted that motorcyclist Kevin Hartigan’s untimely death lead to the best funeral spread in Ireland this year, trashing most other entries this season.

“Corned beef and brown sauce, quail egg and spring onion, Serrano ham and mozzarella; we were spoiled for sandwich choice here,” the TD said, eyes-welling up as he remembered the feast, “Kevin may have been taken way too soon, but if it means the world gets funeral spreads like that, then I’m all for more dangerous driving on our country’s roads – fantastic”.

However, out of the 4,000 entries there could be only one winner with this year’s top funeral spread going to the Mackey family from Donegal, whose father, Jason succumbed to silage pit fumes before falling in and suffocating to death.

“We really didn’t expect this to be honest,” winner Tracey Mackey told WWN after receiving her prize in a small ceremony in Dublin Castle today, “Jason would have been so proud that his funeral was chosen, and I thank all four local politicians who attended and sampled our spread.

“Hopefully our next funeral will be even better,” she concluded.

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