Media Arrested After Terrifying 8 Hour Rampage


THE PERPETRATORS behind a terrifying eight hour long social media rampage which left hundreds of thousands of people scrambling for their lives have finally been arrested today, WWN can confirm.

The suspects, who were driving a series of news publications striking fear into the hearts of all those in their path, were last night being questioned after leading the entire country on a pursuit that began after a domestic dispute broke out yesterday morning.

Armed with several rounds of terrifying words, the media terrorised Dublin City residents from 7am, carefully targeting unsuspecting internet users as they made their way to work.

“I was just going to work, minding my own business on the LUAS, when I just happened to be scrolling through my news feed to see the headline ‘RAMPAGE’ in a bold, uppercase print,” recalled one victim we spoke to today, who was still left scrolling today, “at that moment I really wished I hadn’t had that double espresso before leaving the house – I almost shat myself on the carriage”.

Following the first initial attack wave of media articles, hundreds of thousands of petrified people were left clinging to their phones in a bid for survival, desperately refreshing their browsers and social network feeds for signs that the whole thing was over.

More shocking than the incessant and constant stream of fear waged by the media was its confession to gardaí, in which it stated that if let free again it would carry out similar attacks without any remorse for its actions.

The media is currently being held on remand at Cloverhill prison while a file is being prepared for the DPP.