WWN Guide To ‘Self-Actualising’


ON THE journey to contentment there are many pit stops, detours, U-turns, roundabouts and dual carriageways with random potholes you first complained to the local council about 5 years ago.

However, there is nothing to fear, for it is all about that journey and not the destination itself. Yet, we must try to achieve the blessed joy that is self-actualisation, the fulfilment of our true potential.

We envisage a life filled with a sense of having arrived, the mind, body and spirit entwined with joy, satisfaction and all that other stuff happy-headed fuckers we’re jealous of tell us we should be looking for.

WWN has searched, and we have found the Holy Grail of happiness, that elusive self-actualised state. And we are happy to share it with you:


Easy to scoff at and ridicule, but one can clear the mind of crowded thoughts with yoga and learn to let the mind remain unhurried, allowing you to consider what is important to you.

Aside from all that, the more yoga you practice, the healthier you will be in a purely physical sense.

Say ‘namaste’ to your mates

While you’re embracing the unknown and ambiguous nature of life and what we can come to expect from life, make your to let friends know you’re totally fucking enlightened by refusing to say hello to them in a normal way ever again.

More yoga

Before too long you will be surprising yourself with how limber you are, arching your back and bringing a leg over your head. You would have laughed if you were told a month you could do such things.

Increase your mention of ‘chakras’ in conversation by 7000%

Yeah, that’s it, your journey toward self-discovery doesn’t need to be a silent one, tell everyone about your chakras.

Take your yoga to the next level

Working on yourself, what you need, what you want. It’s easier than we’re led to believe, and you’ll soon agree too. Push your body and mind, you can stretch those limbs further than you thought.

Tell people you get up at 5am every morning, and act like it’s no big deal

You will derive a great sense of satisfaction from how much this annoys people.

Now disappear up your own hole

It is only with this dedicated attitude to yoga that you can contort your body in such a manner that you can be actualised by fully disappearing up your own hole, never to be seen again.