Idiot Suspicious Of Lotto Numbers After Failing To Win For 4,000th Week Running


A LOCAL idiot has become suspicious of the national lottery draw after seeing a still image of the moment he didn’t win the lucrative jackpot prize for a very precedented 4,000th time, WWN understands.

Conor Cally, looking intensely at a screengrab image carried on the websites of news publications who have nothing better to be reporting on, struggled to comprehend how an independently monitored draw failed to result in him becoming a millionaire.

“Look at my ticket, now look at the numbers pulled out of the draw,” Cally encouraged, as he waved his ticket in this reporter’s face.

“Don’t you think it’s a little odd that I’ve spent about €20,000 over the years on the Lotto and still nothing, no big prize wins. C’mon, are you telling me there isn’t something else going on?” Cally said of the draw which has hundreds of millions of possible outcomes.

Studying the screengrab image of a lotto ball which appeared to have two separate numbers on it, Cally was now more convinced than ever that the draw was a massive fix, all coordinated to deny him of what was rightfully his.

Cally hasn’t always been a supporter of the conspiracy that the lotto is a fix, however, after failing to win 3,000 draws in a row, his cynicism began to rise culminating in last night’s 4,000th failure to scoop the jackpot.

“What’s weirder is that I didn’t get any of the other numbers in the draw either,” Cally concluded as he eagerly shared news stories on the non-news story on his social media feeds.