Construction Nuns To Begin Work On New Maternity Hospital After Planning Granted


PLANNING permission has been given the go-ahead for the new National Maternity Hospital in the grounds of St Vincent’s Hospital, creating hundreds of jobs for out-of-work construction nuns in Dublin, WWN can confirm.

The development, estimated to cost €300 million, was at the centre of controversy earlier this year after it emerged the hospital would be operated by the Sisters of Charity.

However, following objections from the public to the fact the facility would be run under a Catholic ethos, the order announced it would end its involvement in the St Vincent’s Healthcare Group, but insisted that they would still like to build the hospital with their own congregation of ‘construction nuns’, who have been out of work since the late nineties.

“Yes, we have bowed out of the running and ownership of the hospital, but we still want to help build it,” chief nun engineer, Sr Gertrude Dundon (88) explains, savaging a jambon, “to date, we’re responsible for building nearly every institution in the country and it only makes sense that we build the new maternity hospital; no one else has as much experience in building hospitals as we have”.

The planning permission, granted by An Bord Pleanála, approves the construction of a 244-bed hospital at the new site.

“We’ll probably settle for the traditional cross shaped building facing Rome,” Sister Dundon revealed, “they have requested no oratory on the plans, but we’ll build one anyway, just to save everyone the embarrassment when Jesus comes back. A statue or two of the blessed virgin holding a baby wouldn’t go astray either”.

The State will fund the building of the hospital and its legal protections in this regard are still being clarified, but it is believed the construction nuns will be exempt from paying any tax while working on the new build.