UK Politicians Unable To Attend Brexit Talks Due To Brexit

BREXIT talks in Brussels have been suspended indefinitely, until a solution is worked out that would allow UK politicians apply for the proper visas that would allow them to work in Europe.

The impasse was reached as the United Kingdom struggles to work through the difficult ‘divorce proceedings’ involved in their flight from the European Union, as voted for in the Brexit referendum last year.

Although the UK firmly believed that their exit from the EU would be smooth and on their own terms, the tricky immigration and work permit issues thrown up by their desire to leave the single market has rendered a lot of their politicians unable to leave Britain and go to Europe to work out how they don’t want people from Europe to come to Britain to work.

“There are actually some UK politicians in a plane circling over the English channel while we try to sort this out,” said a spokesperson for the Conservative government, while grinding up Berrocca and snorting it.

“It’s a little tricky for us to go to Brussels and demand a trade deal that is entirely on our own terms when our lads don’t even have permits to be in Europe in the first place. Look, all we wanted was for foreigners to stay the fuck out of our country and not take our jobs, and to do that we need these foreigners to let us into their fucking country to do our jobs”.

The Conservative party also addressed concerns over the ‘hard border’ with Northern Ireland, stressing that NI needed to ‘piss off, we’re busy’.