Planners Confirm New Dublin Suburbs Will Have The Same Traffic & Lack Of Services Of Other Suburbs

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KEEN to reassure potential tenants and owners of a new Dublin suburb of 8,000 homes earmarked for the Clonburris area of the county, developers, councillors and planners have confirmed that the familiar trappings known to all Dublin suburbs will also be present in this new development.

“Don’t worry the nearest bus stop will be a 20 minute walk and Dublin Bus will cancel the service within a few years so you’ll sort of be stuck out here without a car, but your kids will have the fence outside the unfinished community centre to cut themselves on so it won’t all be dull,” confirmed an expert in lack of town planning.

“Having said that I wouldn’t be too jealous of anyone with a car they’ll have a 4 hour commute even if they work locally. It will feel like the quintessential Dublin lifestyle the rest of the country is so envious of,” added the expert.

The fast tracked initiative by South Dublin County Council will see as many as 24,000 people living close by to Adamstown and Lucan which experience the joy of being a suburb on the outside of Dublin which is besieged by traffic. However, backers of the initiative have claimed the suburb is a step in the right direction and a positive attempt to solve the property crisis.

“Personally I’m keen to see a new Dublin community established which will grow to have all the sorts of problems we all have, and why shouldn’t they have a right to live in an area too far from basic amenities, all Irish people deserve that,” concluded the expert.

In keeping with the celebrated history and culture of Dublin, all future residents will be asked to pretend the prices of the homes slated provisionally at €300,000 ‘is great value for money’ before they eventually go on the sell for in excess of €450,000 once completed three years later than scheduled.

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