Squeezed Middle Starting To Warm To This Varadkar Fella


PUBLIC opinion of new Taoiseach Leo Varadkar has taken a sharp turn for the better, after the announcement that he intends to slash the onerous USC and other income taxes in October’s budget, easing the burden on thousands of middle-class households across the country.

The ‘squeezed middle’, who initially balked at Varadkar’s seemingly classist policies and ‘fraudster witch-hunts’, seemed to be perfectly okay with him after learning that they stand to gain an extra 20 or 30 quid each month in their wage packets.

“Yeah, didn’t really care for him too much when he had the busses driving round asking people to rat out their neighbours,” said one matriarch of a middle-class family we spoke to.

“But then I learned he was giving me an extra €23.67 a month? I was all like, ‘fuck yeah, Leo’. I forgot what it was I disliked about him in an instant. Leo? Leo is sound, as far as I’m concerned. He’s looking after the people that need the most help; me”.

Political commentators swooned when Varadkar made the announcement, calling for him to be held up in history as perhaps the greatest political mastermind of all time after winning the hearts of hundreds of thousands of people by promising them more money, a move that no politician has ever been so daring as to attempt before.