Government Enact Emergency ‘Garth Brooks’ Law After Ed Sheeran Announces 7 Irish Gigs


AS international pop superstar Ed Sheeran made his announcement that he intends to play 7 gigs on the island of Ireland in May of next year, a deafening klaxon sounded in the corridors of Leinster House sparking panic.

“Code 4927. This is not a drill. Code 4927,” screeched the speaker systems as TDs ran as fast as they could to an emergency sitting of the Dáil to pass an emergency amendment to the ‘Garth Brooks’ law, which was drafted to deal with the country singer when he announced 5 dates in Croke Park several years and proceeded to have a conniption fit when they were cancelled.

Sheeran announced a similarly ambitious set of 6 dates in the Republic with two each in Cork, Galway and Dublin alongside one date in Belfast. Advisors to Sheeran are clearly unaware of Irish local residents and their desire to call a halt to any performer who gets ‘notions’, paving the way for yet another international incident which will heap embarrassment on Ireland once the gigs are curtailed.

“Ah now, there’ll be people parking near my house, and talking loudly for two nights, I won’t stand for it, he must be stopped” shared one concerned resident with WWN who lives 160 kilometres from the site of Sheeran’s two Galway gigs.

In enacting the emergency Garth Brooks law, the government has made every local councillor, TD, Senator, former Presidents and former Taoisigh available for embarrassing interviews with international media.

“We cannot risk this situation staying under control, so the onus is now on us politicians to get out there and start saying stuff on the radio and TV in an effort to cancel the gigs and cause an international incident,” Taoiseach Varadkar shared with the Dáil chamber.

TDs are no longer bound to their daily duties and have now taken on the task of fucking up the prospect of thousands of Ed Sheeran fans from enjoying his 7 gigs in May of 2018 on a full time basis.