Man Donates Body & Soul To Medical Science
LOCAL man and self-confessed non-reveller Martin Harrigan has agreed to donate his body and soul to medical science, in a bid to understand and enjoy the calming, pleasurable effects of the upcoming Body and Soul festival.
“Normally, I’m a coiled spring of tension,” said Harrigan, wearing a range of scientific sensors on his neck and back, “my typical weekend is locking myself away with Netflix and takeaway, so maybe through the wonders of science I can get out there and properly learn how to have the craic”.
In a bid to study the true effects of such a relaxing weekend, the usually stressed and craic-averse Waterford native Harrigan will be wired up to a range of devices that will monitor exactly how chilled out and/or stimualted he gets over the course of the three-day event.
“Our sensors will check his body for levels of ‘food contentedness’, ‘muscle relaxation’, ‘banging tunes’ and ‘smiley niceness’, while the uplifting effect of ‘chilled out vibes’ on his soul will be registered into a little device that looks like a Casio calculator and onto my chart,” confirmed Body and Soul’s resident body and soul professor, Dr. Otto Von Bergerstaun.
“These things will go haywire once he hits the main stage, gets an immersive spa treatment, grabs a pizza on the Big Blue Bus or hits up the Bulmers lounge”.
As Harrigan explores myriad festival experiences, initial readings show he is no longer ‘super tense’, and has entered a new plane of existence known to regular Body and Soul attendees as ‘actually having fun’.
“We’ve never seen readings like this, this stick in the mud could win me the Nobel Prize,” confirmed an ecstatic Dr. Von Bergerstaun.