“I’m Not Myself In The Morning Until I’ve Spent Hours Stressing Over What People Think Of Me”


“WE all have our morning routines, and we’re not the same without them!” grinned Waterford native Sean Collins, speaking exclusively to WWN.

“There’s Jim in IT; you don’t want to meet him before he’s had his coffee. And as for Rose at the front desk… you’ll surely know it if she hasn’t had her jammy bagel before the phone starts ringing! Me, I like to get the day off to a start by waking up hours before I have to go to work, staring at the ceiling while my mind replays things I’ve said and done over the course of my life that I’m embarrassed or ashamed of, pouring over whether or not people hold them against me, in dreaded fear that everyone is talking about me behind my back, laughing at me for being such a worthless idiot”.

Collins went on to talk us through his morning routine, which he does every morning to ensure that he’s bright and cheerful for his co-workers in one of the city’s top firms.

“I’m just not myself until I sit on the edge of the bed, wondering if I should burden the world with my stupidity and awkwardness for another day,” said Collins, who goes to great lengths to make sure all his friends and family know nothing about what he goes through each day.

“Do I have a shower? Do I put on clean clothes? Should I bother? Does it make a difference? If I’m clean and smell nice today, does it make up for that time at the Christmas party two years ago where I made a show of myself after drinking too much and everyone stared at me for four seconds before going on with the night? What shoes do I choose, to take away the sting of that joke I told in secondary school that nobody laughed at? Once I get all these thoughts shoved away deep into the back of my mind, I’m normally right as ninepence for 8 or so hours, until I can get back home and stare at the walls again”.

Before returning to work, Sean took a moment to ‘man up’, which, not knowing about resources such as Your Mental Health, he describes as ‘an essential part’ of his daily routine.