Local Man Still Pretending To Like Twin Peaks

THE return of cult classic TV show Twin Peaks to our screens after a 25-year absence has led to a return of Waterford man Cathal McGrannan’s insistence that he loves the show, despite the fact that he rarely has any clue as to what is going on in it.

Debuting in 1990, David Lynch’s disturbing supernatural tale about an FBI agent’s quest to unravel the mystery behind the death of Laura Palmer enthralled and terrified audiences around the world, as well as leaving many people confused as to why people were raving about how great this show that made no sense was.

Having spent his teenage years nodding along when all his friends were talking about how great Twin Peaks was, rather than stand out from the cool crowd and exclaim that he didn’t like it, the now 39-year-old McGrannan was delighted when the show finished up in 1991.

To his dismay, a new season of Twin Peaks launched on Sky Atlantic this week, meaning a return to pretending that he’s ‘cool enough to get it’.

“I thought I was done with all these fucking dwarves and what-not,” sighed McGrannan, joylessly sitting down to endure the latest episodes.

“Why can’t everyone just like simple TV shows, like The A-Team or the news. Now I have to sit through 18 fucking episodes of this nonsense, just so I’ll be able to join in the conversation with the cool lads at work. Oh look, a half-eaten bun in a shoe. That’s probably got some real deep meaning, I suppose”.

Following the episode, McGrannan spent the rest of the evening writing up his conversation about it, making sure to include the phrase ‘dark American nightmare’ at least 57 times.