Student Looking Forward To Being Treated Like Shit In Summer Job


A WATERFORD student has expressed her utter and unconfined joy at the prospect of spending close to 4 months in a summer job being treated like an inconsequential piece of shit by everyone she encounters, WWN can reveal.

Fresh off committing a paltry 60 hours a week to college work as well as holding down a part time job, Dublin based student and Tramore woman Aoife Kerrihan is set to make her part time sales assistant job a permanent one for the summer in a bid to have enough money to barely afford Dublin.

“Ah no, I’m glad second year is done, it was tough. And I can think of nothing better to do with my summer than being talked down by incredibly busy middle aged women who want things in a size ten,” Aoife explained.

“Who then accuse me of war crimes when I tell them we’re out of stock and demand I be fired. But it’s fine because my manager will throw me under the bus and agree with customers that I’m a stupid and empty-headed young girl who knows nothing about life even though I’m not entirely sure what that has to do with size tens not being in stock,” added the clearly entitled medicine student.

Aoife, one of just thousands of immature students who think money grows on trees, will regularly express her annoyance at being pressured into breaking labour laws at her boss’s encouragement, further proof this entitled generation has no idea about what it is to be an adult.

“On the plus side, I’ll probably have to clean up someone’s shit after they literally defecate in the changing room before running off. This will happen about 10 times if it’s anything like last summer,” Aoife explained, as if everyone else didn’t have to do something similar when they had a summer job.