Successful Woman Must Have ‘Rode Someone Along The Way’, Confirms Unsuccessful Man

IT has been officially confirmed by one man in a Waterford office that the current audit manager must have attained such a high-ranking position thanks to a series of open-legged interviews along the way.

Colm Jennings, 35, made the assertion during his fourth coffee break yesterday, after AM Sheila Conway walked past and said hello to him and a group of others in the canteen of one of Waterford’s leading accountancy firms.

“Well, you know how she got that role, don’t you?” said Jennings, making the universally accepted hand motion gesture for sexual intercourse.

“I remember when she was just at the same level as I was. Few years later, I’m still crunching numbers and she’s the assistant director? There’s only one explanation for that, if you know what I mean”.

“And if you don’t know what I mean, I’ll spell it out; I think she slept with someone to get her job, otherwise I’d have it. Now, who’s for bunking off early today? Pub? We can ring in sick tomorrow”.

Jennings also confirmed that the director of the company, Pat Marron, ‘really did pull himself up by the bootstraps’ and was ‘a real self-made man’ as well as a ‘great lad altogether’.