Fancy Culchie Only Drinks Rock Shandy


NO Club Orange for local man Ian McEhany, and no TK lemonade either. No, when it comes to quenching this Ofally native’s thirst, there’s only one beverage that will do; a lukewarm slug of Rock Shandy out of a 2 litre bottle from under the sink.

Rock Shandy, produced solely for the affluent culchie market in Ireland, has risen in popularity following the resurgence of the Irish economy, following the 2008 recession which saw households across Ireland resort to diluted orange.

Although a rudimentary Rock Shandy could be created by mixing orange Mi-Wadi with diluted lemon from Aldi, fancy culchies immediately switched back to the real thing once their parents got jobs again.

McEhany, described by some as ‘having notions about himself’, opts for the lemon-and-orange soft drink whenever possible, and grumbles whenever he can’t find it in shops or vending machines.

“Fuck sake like, when are they going to get some fucking Rock Shandy in this kip,” McEhany was heard to exclaim to his pals as they sat for lunch in UCD, where he studies Culchie History and Mythology.

“Look it this; I only have orange to drink with my chicken curry. They’re animals around here, fucking savages”.

An ‘RS man ’til he dies’, McElhany has even been known to drink his own signature cocktail when he’s out, consisting of Rock Shandy & double vodka, which he calls ‘Rocket Shandy’.