“Looking Like I Have No Plan Is Part Of My Plan” May Confirms

AFTER an embarrassing leak from a meeting held with EU leaders laid bare British PM Theresa May’s complete lack of knowledge and preparedness surrounding Brexit negotiations, the Conservative leader sought to suggest the appearance of having no tangible plan was all part of her plan.

“To be so publicly embarrassed, and have it there written in plain English; that it appears we are utterly clueless is actually part of a wider, clearly ingenious plan which I cannot reveal at this point,” May explained, batting away claims that several EU leaders were astonished at the naivety displayed by May at a dinner held in London.

“If it appears to the British public that I am just presuming this will be a walk in the park, and this leads the public to dive head first into a panic, good. That’s obviously all part of the plan as well,” May added, stressing that having no plan means having no plan.

May’s words come ahead of a snap election, which has seen her campaign on a pledge of a strong and stable government, and will serve as a great comfort to voters who never want to admit that they might be wrong and that their government is utterly clueless.

Despite the embarrassing leaks from the meeting, May received a boost from popular newspaper The Daily Mail which revealed that the EU is actually ISIS in disguise and is seeking to bomb mainland Britain with foreign welfare cheats.