“Fuck Back To Malta And Stop Annoying Us” High Court Tells O’Brien

BUSINESSMAN Denis O’Brien has been told by the high court to “fuck back to Malta” after losing his action over statements made in the Dáil about his banking affairs, WWN can confirm.

Ms Justice Ursula Rafferty today dismissed the businessman’s action, stating that Dáil utterances are protected from judicial condemnation and court interference, and told O’Brien to stop annoying the court every time his feelings get hurt.

“Denis, we could name a courtroom after you at this stage,” Justice Rafferty began, referring to the dozens of litigation cases brought forward by the Maltese citizen, “I feel it’s time to just give it to you straight, Denny, cause it doesn’t seem to be registering in that thick skull of yours; please, fuck back to Malta for yourself and stop annoying us”.

Met with hoards of applause from the attending press, barristers and lawyers, she continued.

“I think I can speak for everyone here when I say that we’re absolutely sick of the fucking sight of you, trying to defend ‘your good name’,” she added, using air quotes and rolling her eyes, “seriously, are you not getting it yet? There’s no defending that shit anymore. How about stop suing people, if you’re so precious about how you’re being perceived by them.

“Best thing you could do now is fly back to your little tax haven and ignore what people say about you back in Ireland. Go on, off with you now, ” she shooed.

With that, the packed courtroom stood on their feet and cheered as the disgraced O’Brien sheepishly left the courtroom, before Justice Rafferty concluded: “And take your slimy legal team with you!”