5-A-Side Player Faces Two-Match Ban For Being A Prick

A KEY player for a Waterford 5-a-side astro football team has been handed a two-match ban by his fellow players, after repeated on-pitch offences such as blasting the ball too hard and just being a bit of a dickhead to everyone.

Kevin Meehan, named locally as a prick, togs out for astro every Tuesday night with a rotating team of friends, neighbours, lads from school and the occasional Polish lad someone knows from work.

The 27-yea-old, who had a trial for West Brom when he was 17 and takes his football very seriously, has been cautioned in the past by his fellow players who have urged him to ‘tone it the fuck down’ a bit during their weekly game, described by everyone except Meehan as ‘just a bit of craic on a Tuesday’.

With offences mounting against the Tramore native, a two-match ban has been imposed by the rest of the lads and will be implemented by taking Meehan’s name off the Whatsapp group for a fortnight.

“Yeah, we’ve kind of had it with him smashing the ball as hard as he can and shouldering everyone around the place,” said Sean Hanlon, sometimes midfield, sometimes in nets.

“Half of us aren’t fit to run at all, we just tog out for the laugh, to get out of the house. He shows up like it’s the Champions League final. We’ve warned him to cool it on several occasions, well, he can kick the ball as hard as he wants at home for the next fortnight”.

Meehan was said to be unflustered by the development, as he is currently in talks to join an indoor 5-a-side team that play on Thursdays in town.