Office’s Casual Friday Policy Extends To Doing Fuck All Work As Well


A LOCAL DUBLIN office, which operates a ‘casual Friday’ clothing policy admitted that the policy now extended to the amount of work its employees do, WWN can reveal.

Conventional casual Fridays involve employees given the opportunity to feel less like indentured slaves as they are permitted to wear casual attire, a policy which is operated in many Irish offices to much acclaim. However, staff at Druid Technologies have extended the casual approach to shoes, trousers and tops to all and any work they carry out on the last day of the working week.

“Phoning it the fuck in pal,” one employee, Adam Healy shared with WWN before answering a phone call with “fuck off lad, it’s Friday”.

“It happened in small increments, less and less work done as my clothes got more casual,” added Healy, dressed only in his underwear, “next thing you know, it’s Friday and we’re watching Netflix on the projector in the conference room”.

While productivity in the company on Fridays plummeted by some 100%, alcohol consumption rose by 400%. Something which managing director at Druid, Norah Higgins, says she has given up trying to chance.

“I could ask them to work, but I mean, look at them,” Higgins added, pointing to several employees dressed in onesies, “and look at Noel, that fucker’s literally brought his bed,” Higgins sighed, pointing to an employee who was snoring in a King sized bed.

“Plus, I’m kind of getting used to it myself,” Higgins explained, admitting that the casual nature of Fridays meant she basically had a three-day weekend, “I don’t cancel meetings or obligations on Fridays, but I pretty much spend the day online shopping”.

WWN was then asked to leave as we were impinging on the office’s weekly watch of cat videos.