Man In Miserable Mood Can’t Be Arsed With Upbeat Pricks On Radio

A LOCAL WATERFORD man who is said to be in a ‘prick of a mood’ is not being helped to overcome it in any way by the endless parade of upbeat and ‘happy fuckers’ coming out of his car radio.

Angrily mashing the dial of his radio console while repeatedly saying ‘fuck off’ to each and every set of near identical upbeat pricks on the radio, Tramore man Andy Shefflin’s patience has worn thin with the winning combination of a chirpy radio DJ, and another even more annoyingly chirpy DJ.

“I wouldn’t mind, honestly, I wouldn’t, if only they didn’t all sound like pretending to be that happy about shite texts from listeners wasn’t killing them slowly inside,” conceded Shefflin, as if he was having a bad enough day before this shower came on the radio.

“Forcing two relative strangers into pretending they’re ‘BFFs’ and making them talk about their favourite colour or what Kylie Jenner is snapchatting or some shit, yeah, that’s exactly what’ll turn my mood around,” Shefflin noted, possibly in a sarcastic fashion.

The phenomenon of pairing male and female radio DJs with one another and forcing them to sound like they were having fun originated in Guantanamo Bay when US forces used to torture inmates by making them the hosts of non existent morning radio shows. The recordings were then played back to the inmates with a 100% success rate in turning them insane.

“Yup, sounds about right,” concluded Shefflin, who began wondering if he had been in a bad mood at all before switching on the radio.