Scotland Given Second Chance To Shit Themselves


A SECOND referendum on Scottish independence currently being proposed by Nicola Sturgeon would, according to experts, grant Scotland a new chance to ‘piss the bed and go running back to the safety of their betters in England’, it has been confirmed.

Should the referendum go ahead, Scottish people will have one more chance to show they haven’t got ‘the God damn balls’ to survive on their own two feet without English people holding their hands and wiping their arses for them, possibly as early as Autumn next year.

The first Scottish referendum for independence from Great Britain took place in 2014 and resulted in the majority of downtrodden Scots accepting their place in this life, choosing to feed from the scraps thrown to them from the table of their masters in Westminster as opposed to having the belief in themselves to break free and be a nation of their own.

However, following the Brexit referendum which saw 62% of Scottish people vote to remain in the EU, First Minister Nicola Sturgeon believes now is the time for Scotland to stand up and be embarrassed all over again.

“It’s been at over two years since we scoured all down our legs in fright at the thoughts of leaving Great Britain,” said Sturgeon, speaking while William Wallace got up to 1,600rpm in his grave.

“And now, a whole new generation of Scots will be able to shit themselves as well. Think about it; two years ago, thousands of young people didn’t get the chance to bow down to the throne and beg for mercy… now, they’ll be able to do just that, while handing the keys to our country to a whole new set of cunts”.

Stay tuned to WWN for more details about the Scottish Independence referendum, including the best time to stick the popcorn on so you don’t miss a good laugh.