Lack Of Parking For Assassins At Inauguration Heavily Criticised


ORGANISERS of today’s US presidential inauguration ceremony have come under heavy fire from assassins from all around the world, who have criticised the poor level of parking available to them in the lots and streets surrounding Washington.

“See the parking spaces with the rifles painted on the ground? Those are for us, okay? You can’t park there!” yelled one lone gunman, in a heated altercation with a non-assassin who had parked in the designated spot.

“I don’t care that you couldn’t find any other parking, you can’t just take a spot that isn’t for you. And don’t tell me to go further up the road, I need to park here so I can lie in the trunk of my car and aim out through a hole I’ve cut in the side of the car. Be more considerate!”

With a record number of snipers and hitmen expected to attend the swearing-in of Donald Trump as the 45th president of America, questions are being asked as to why more parking spaces were not made available in the city.

“It’s a shame that we weren’t accommodated a bit better,” said one sell-sword we spoke to, taking the bus from a parking lot the far side of town.

“They had to know we’d show out in strength. I mean, they could have re-painted the disabled parking spaces and made them assassin spaces. It’s not like Trump has any disabled fans after his impressions, after all”.