Emotional Obama Greenlights One Last Drone Strike ‘For Old Times’ Sake’


OUTGOING American President Barack Obama has ordered one last drone strike this evening in an emotional goodbye to his 8 years in office.

Visiting the White House situation room for what is expected to be his last time, the teary eyed 55-year-old gazed into the freshly printed mission sheet, before greenlighting its proposed strike on an al Qaeda stronghold in Yemen, wiping a single tear from his cheek.

“I’m really going to miss this old place,” he told his military personnel, who began relaying the strike order over the phone to a 24-year-old drone operator in Texas, “Bin Laden, Gaddafi, so many great memories we’ve had here, guys. Some sick ass shit, stuff I’ll take with me the grave. Delicate stuff. Stuff I hope my predecessor has the balls carry out when the time arises”, adding, “At least with Hillary, you know that crazy bitch would just blitz anything, no questions asked”.

Watching the situation room’s high resolution screen, Obama hummed the national anthem eerily in the background to the black and white images, streaming from the multimillion dollar unmanned aircraft, now flying to its target in Sana’a, West Yemen.

“Is that a school?” he asked, before then correcting himself, “ah, a mosk! I nearly shat myself there. It would be a bad week to kill kids; so close to Christmas, and that”.

Timing his instruction ‘engage target’ to the peak of his Star Spangled Banner rendition, “O’er the land of the free…”, the next former president of the United States of America climaxed the song as two AGM-114 Hellfire II air-to-ground missiles simultaneously pummelled the ground below.

“….and the home of the brave!”,  he finished, before bowing to his applauding peers.