God Dies After Battle With Short Illness


THE Vatican has today confirmed the untimely death of God the almighty and creator of the universe after losing a ‘battle with a short illness’ at his heavenly home.

Pope Francis led tributes this morning from St Peter’s, sending his condolences to God’s only remaining sibling, Jesus, who has been sitting at the right hand of the Lord for the past 2,000 years.

“His untimely death will no doubt touch billions of people around the world,” an emotional Pope Francis told followers, “The Catholic church passes on its condolences to his only son, and to all his staff, the angel Gabriel, Michael, Peter and all the saints, and to you, our brothers and sisters”.

Details surrounding God’s illness are still vague, but sources believe God was coming to the end of his life for the past 500 years and has been ‘training in’ his son into the family business.

“Jesus will now sit on his father’s throne and take the wheel, so to speak” a Vatican insider explained, “This death was inevitable as God was reaching the ripe old age of 4 billion years old, which is absolutely incredible when you think about it.

“It’s a sad day for everyone here. This year has really been the worst”.

Jesus is expected to take some time off before transitioning into the almighty father role as master of the Universe.