REVEALED: Trump’s Plans To Renovate White House

A LEAKED document has thrown open a window into just exactly what Donald Trump intends to do to ‘make the White House feel like home’ when he moves in after being inaugurated as president of the United States in the New Year.

Upon getting his feet in the door, the business tycoon turned most powerful man in the world intends to:

– “Get a decent chair for behind the desk in the oval office, something with a bit of lumbar support”

– “Put in a control panel with just one big red button for launching nukes, one like you see in the movies where two guys have to turn keys at the same time”

– “A pneumatic tunnel linking the White House to Trump Towers in New York, capable of transporting Trump to and from both his offices in less than 4 minutes”

– “Convert the Roosevelt Room into a tanning salon and hair surgery clinic”

– “Increase security around the perimeter, just in case any of the people who voted for him come looking to see why he hasn’t delivered the things he promised”

– “Rename the China Room as The Freedom Room”

– “Take down any portraits of previous presidents and replace them with pictures of Donald Trump”

– “Get some underfloor heating in, the White House is draughty and the Donald does not like draughts”

– “Gild everything. Every single surface, floor to ceiling.”

– “Fire all staff with bigger hands than Trump, so his look extra massive”

– “Put a big massive ‘T’ on the outside, so people know who’s in charge.”

The renovations are expected to start in March 2017, with the contract already rewarded to New York building firm D. Trump Construction.