Compulsory Seatbelts On Buses Just Decades Away


ROAD safety experts have hinted today that buses could be the next transport vehicle to be hit with compulsory seatbelts for passengers, in what has been hailed as more ridiculous measures to save people’s lives.

Physicists are now stating that current safety measures on buses are too relaxed and that passengers who are not strapped in could face severe injuries due to a science term known as ‘velocity’, which claims that the people travelling on buses are actually going the same speed as the bus, despite the fact they are not actually physically moving.

“It’s just another money racket and a bit nerdy if you ask me,” voiced one regular bus passenger we asked this morning, who travels to work daily and hasn’t been killed once, “You can’t travel anywhere these days without being told what to do. ‘Please mind the gap’, ‘don’t open the exit door while in flight’, where does it stop?”

Thankfully, road safety experts believe the new measures may not be introduced for another 30 years, as many bus companies are State owned, and that installing such safety measures would be too costly and annoying to enforce by the government.

“Seatbelts on every bus! My God, that would cost us a lot of money to implement,” explained Irish Minister for Transport, Tourism and Sport Shane Ross, before being told the government could fine people up to 80 euro for not adhering to the new rule, “How much in revenue? Right, when you put it like that. And are you sure it’s unsafe? I thought buses don’t crash or something?”

In fact, recent research has found that buses crash in the exact same way as cars and other vehicles that travel at speed, despite being operated by a human who is trained to drive them.