Tom Hanks In Brawl With Bill Murray Over Who Gets To Take Picture With Randomer On Street


THERE were chaotic scenes in New York city this morning as veteran actors Bill Murray and Tom Hanks clashed in a bloody brawl to see who would get to photobomb a nearby stranger who was taking a selfie at the time.

Hanks and Murray have been involved in a long-term rivalry as the pair routinely attempt to oar themselves into meet-and-greet opportunities with random people on the street, resulting in hundreds of stories about ‘the time Bill Murray crashed a frat party’ and ‘the time Tom Hanks took a selfie with a person in a coma’.

The feud boiled over in Central Park at 8am this morning, as the pair rushed to be in the background of a selfie being taken by a tourist, beginning with Hanks shoulder-charging Murray to the ground, and devolving into an A-list punch-up between the Hollywood heavyweights.

“Headbutts, eye-gouging, biting… these guys did everything they could to be the coolest, most down-to-earth actor,” said one eyewitness.

“Murray is still pretty strong for an old guy, but in the end Hanks had the greater reach and punching power. He mounted Murray and beat the shit out of him, then bloodily stumbled into that Finnish lad’s selfie before blacking out from his injuries”.

When later questioned by cops, Murray reportedly employed his standard “no-one will believe this happened” defence.