Horror As Man Comfy On Sofa Realises Phone Is On Mantelpiece

There was heartbreak and dismay for one Waterford man last night, when he realised that he had left his phone on the mantelpiece right as he had just achieved peak comfort of the sofa.

Declan Brennan, 33, thought he had it all; a can of beer within reach, his favourite show streaming on the telly, and the perfect arrangement of couch and cushions underneath him, ready to keep him in bliss for the next hour or at least until he needed a slash.

Tragedy struck the Waterford City native mere seconds into his cosyness, as it dawned on him that his phone wasn’t within reach and in fact the iPhone 4s was all the way across the room, requiring him to get up and get it or face an hour of telly watching without the facility to piss around on Facebook during the breaks.

Solemnly accepting that he would never fully realise the exact level of comfort he had fought so hard to achieve, Brennan got up to get his phone, tears in his eyes.

“You never get that level of ‘ooooh yeah’ again,” said Brennan, fidgeting around while trying to get back into the position he was in just seconds ago, “This is like lying in a fucking hedge right now. Why, why didn’t I remember to take my phone from the mantelpiece before I settled down?” before adding, “If ever there was an argument for living with someone, this is it”.