Here’s What The Country Would Spend €160mn Jackpot On, Broken Down By County
WWN surveyed the Nation and the results are in, ahead of this evening’s EuroMillions draw, each county has confirmed what they would collectively spend the money on, given the chance.
To find out what you’re county would spend the money on read on below:
Westmeath, Meath: 80% of poll respondents would spend money on search team tasked with finding their long lost brother Eastmeath.
Cork: the Rebel county voted in favour of contracting Donald Trump to build a wall around Cork, keeping the rest of the country out.
Kerry: the county would use the winnings to begin making Kerrygold butter from actual gold.
Wicklow, Carlow: would fund their expansion into becoming Ireland’s first ever ‘super country’, rebranding as LowLow.
Wexford: 3/4s of the county would pour money into cutting edge strawberry technology with the aim of building the world’s largest strawberry. The county would be hopeful of winning the Nobel Prize for Science sometime next year.
Kilkenny: despite already being under construction, the €160 million jackpot would be used to increase the height of their gold Brian Cody statue from 6 feet to 600 feet.
Leitrim: would take out €160 million worth of adverts in national papers reminding everyone Leitrim exists.
Longford: begin negotiations to purchase Roscommon and rebrand as Extralongford.
Roscommon: hire a private army to protect the county from those conniving Longford natives.
Laois: pour money into making Electric Picnic festival a 365 day event.
Dublin: despite not needing the money, Dubliners most popular choice for what to do with any potential winnings would be to open a ‘reconciliation centre’ with the aim of bringing the north and south sides of the city together, setting aside long standing accent-based differences.
Tipperary: the €160 million would be splashed on a big tourism push aiming to dispel the damaging myth that it’s a long way to Tipperary. “We’re no closer nor no further away from things than most counties,” the head of Tourism Tipp confirmed.
Galway: despite many suggestions from Galway natives, the overwhelming victor in the poll was ‘turning everything into another Supermacs’.
Waterford: would send a team of mercenaries around the world to track down any cafe, restaurant, baker or individual living outside Waterford that claims to be selling blaas and promptly dispose of them.
Louth: elocution lessons for everyone living in Dundalk.
Mayo: with the blessing from the county board, Mayo would pour all the money into building a replica of Croke Park in Castlebar and paying actors to dress up as the Dublin senior football team. They would then stage weekly All Ireland finals, in which Mayo always win.
Clare: after the recent attempted kidnapping of the Cliffs of Moher, the money would be spent on beefing up security and building a replica ‘body double’ Cliffs of Moher in case it is ever needed.
Monaghan: converting all potholes in the county into Olympic standard swimming pools, with the overall aim to create 40 Michael Phelps in time for the 2048 Mars Olympics.
Offaly: the money would be spent on paying President Barack Obama to relocate to Obama Plaza in Moneygall once his presidency is over. Offaly would charge a very reasonable €20 for a selfie with the US leader.
Cavan: the county has confirmed it wouldn’t spend a penny, and it never won the EuroMillions, doesn’t know what you’re talking about. Go away now.
Limerick: spend the money on private investigators whose sole aim is to uncover the real identity of the Rubberbandits, secretly believed to a pair of Dubliners taking the mickey out of the county.
Donegal: the potential windfall would go towards harnessing cutting edge weather technology which would see the county import sunshine from Hawaii in an effort to further boost the popularity of surfing.
Kildare: would spend a little bit on itself before getting a round in for the rest of the country because Kildare is sound like that.
Sligo: converting Innisfree on Loch Gill into the world’s first and greatest WB Yeats amusement park on a scale to rival Disneyland. And if there is any money left over maybe buy some Choc Ices for everyone too.
[WWN-Post-Info-Box]With Tonight’s EuroMillions Jackpot set to hit €160 Million you could go Island Shopping or do all of the above (possibly) and more! For a dream big enough to share, play EuroMillions online now and #ShareTheDream[/WWN-Post-Info-Box]