The Garda Strike: All You Need To Know


IRELAND is facing the unprecedented possibility of an all out strike by rank and file Gardaí, but just what does this mean for the average person? And what are the unions and politicians doing to move closer to a resolution?

WWN reveals all you need to know:

For the uninitiated the Gardaí are the Irish police force, which means they enjoy a reputation of being well respected by the public or utterly reviled, depending on what one-off experience you had with them 10 years ago.

Rank and file Gardaí have voted in favour of industrial action over disputed pay and working conditions and will strike in November on four consecutive Fridays. It is not thought the days were chosen in an effort to strong arm a government that has consistently road blocked pay talks into negotiating.

Fianna Fáil have been locked in crisis talks since the announcement of the proposed strike was made. Rumours are circulating that the main opposition party are torn between siding with the Gardaí and undermining the Fine Gael-led government in an effort to use the issue to force a snap election, or simply biding its time for a better, more suitable problem to exploit and pounce on.

Is this all over some breakfast roll allowance?

Come on, don’t be so ridiculous, that’s an outdated stereotype and anyway, the breakfast roll allowance is protected under the constitution and cannot be touched by the government.

According to some lad in work, Gardaí are often actually secret millionaires who have the easiest job in the world, and would much prefer punching you in the face than solving any real crime*.

*Real crime consists of any illegal activities that people, who are not that lad in work, commit. The crimes that lad in work commits, such as tax evasion, drink driving, having no tax or insurance are not important issues and it’s a disgrace.

Enda Kenny has been rocking back and forth in the corner of his Leinster House office since learning of the result of the ballot.

Sinn Féin are thought to be in a weaker position than Fianna Fáil as to side with the Gardaí in the pay dispute would probably require them to row back on previous public pronouncements and actually condemn the murder of Gardaí in the past by Republicans.

Labour’s opinion on the matter is irrelevant.

How will the strike affect the public’s safety?

It is alleged, according to anyone who isn’t in Fine Gael, that Dublin crime lords have already earmarked the strike days as the perfect opportunity to murder you, your granny and her pet cat Felix, who if we’re being honest, probably deserves it.

Are the government really to blame?

It is speculated that if the public were to learn the true extent of how poorly funded and vulnerable many public bodies and services are, we would all evacuate ourselves before evacuating over the border to Northern Ireland. The government also didn’t help themselves by revealing the recovery must be kept going and that they were shitting money in the run up to the last election.