US Police Warned Not To Shoot At Black Moon


POLICE all over the United States are currently being briefed about a ‘black moon’ which will rise this Friday night, and have been warned not to engage with the rare anomaly under any circumstances.

The Black Moon is forecast to reach its peak at 8.11pm Eastern Time in the US on Friday, September 30 2016, forcing Barack Obama to issue a nationwide ban on police officers from firing their weapons into the air.

“This moon does not pose any threat to any US citizen and it should be left to its own devices,” warned Mr. Obama in a four hour speech outlining all the different reasons why shooting at earth’s only satellite would be futile, “This moon is not a suspect wanted for any crime. Just because the moon is black, it doesn’t mean it’s bad. Moons don’t hurt people, guns do. Seriously, don’t shoot at the moon guys, not cool”.

However, during the speech, several police officers had to be removed for standing up and trying to shoot the president with their fingers, as all weapons had been temporarily confiscated by the president’s secret service, a protocol they introduced just days after his inauguration in 2009.

The Black Moon is the name given to the second new moon in a single month. This rare double phenomenon is supposedly linked to biblical apocalyptic prophecies and has alarmed conspiracy theorists with nothing else better to worry about.