Them Crrrrrazy US Cops Are At It Again!

THEY just can’t help themselves! After managing to go for literally dozens of hours without shooting an unarmed black man, US cops are at it again, shooting not one but two innocent civilians in the space in quick succession.

Those wacky gun-totin’ boys ‘n girls in blue killed 40-year-old Terence Crutcher and 43-year-old Keith Lamont Scott this week, who were under suspicion of being black (this suspicion was later confirmed by local coroners).

Protests were held in cities across America as the full-time mad bastard officers responsible for the killings were put on administrative leave, as citizens across the country wondered what those crrrrraaazy cops were going to get up to next.

“You got one kid killed a while back because he was holding Skittles, now a father shot dead because he was holding a book… we’re all wondering what it is that cops have against us holding things?” asked one lady in Crutcher’s hometown of Tulsa.

“You just never know what those cops are going to do next. Like, we all love having a laugh, goofing around… but those cops just take it too far sometimes. Nobody around here thinks it’s funny to shoot someone dead, but you see them the next day just laughing and joking as if nothing has happened”.

The US police department has dismissed claims that cops were acting maliciously during the shootings, stressing that they were ‘only messing’.