Man May Require Stitches After Showing Up To Work Half Cut

ONE Waterford man required medical attention this morning, after co-workers noticed that he was half cut at his desk.

James Corcarn, 27, pleaded with his fellow employees to not fuss over him, but in the end accepted that he was still well cut, to the point where he neared needing stitches and a blood transfusion.

The Dungarvan native admitted to picking up the injuries in a drinking-related incident, after going at it ‘pretty hard’ in town last night. The IT novice confided that he was ‘seriously lit’ by the time he got home, but didn’t want it to get in the way of a day’s wage today.

“He’s half cut, it’s not pretty,” said one office busybody, peering over at Corcarn’s desk.

“There’s a few over there trying to get him back to full health before the boss arrives. He’s basically asleep, so they’re trying to get him to wake up so that he can at least appear like a healthy, productive member of staff. But it’s looking like they might lose him”.

Medical staff are doing their best to resuscitate Corcarn at the minute, but reports coming in to us here at WWN suggest that the young man is dying altogether.