Hillary Clinton Struck Down With Man Flu
AMERICA’S first female presidential candidate representing a major party, Hillary Clinton, has cancelled a fundraising trip to Califnornia after it emerged the Democratic nominee has apparently been struck down with ‘man flu’, WWN can reveal.
Dr Lisa Bardack announced the cancellation on Sunday night following Clinton’s abrupt departure from the 9/11 memorial ceremony, stating she was diagnosed with influenza on Friday and given antibiotics, but had developed full-blown man-flu by Saturday, a first for female humans.
“Hillary became very dehydrated during yesterday’s event and began moaning and whimpering, which is out of character for her,” Dr. Bardack explained, “I suspected there was something more serious at play than just the normal flu, as she rarely complains about her health,” adding, “after some tests, we have concluded she has full blown man flu and may be out of action for weeks”.
It is understood the man flu was probably contracted during her ongoing campaign travels around America, and exposure to a predominantly male dominated political world may have mutated the virus to produce the world’s first female man-flu strain.
“I owe Hillary an apology I thought it was something fragile women get and never recover from like pneumonia, but man flu, God, I hope she pulls through,” one man pictured wearing a Stump for Trump tshirt explained.
“If Hillary wants to roll with the big boys, she’s got to be able to roll with big boy punches,” fellow presidential candidate Donald Trump later commented on her illness. “What did she expect applying for a man’s job? This was never going to be easy”.
Democrats have since quashed any rumours their presidential candidate is out of the race, stating they will prop Mrs. Clinton up with sticks if they have to for the up-and-coming election in November.
It is believed Republicans casting aspersions on Clinton’s long term health prognosis and demanding she step down did not make similar demands of George Bush Sr when he vomited on the Japanese prime minister during a State dinner in 1992 when he was president.