Zoo Staff Find Harambe’s Tomb Empty


STAFF at the Cincinnati Zoo & Botanical Gardens have issued a statement in which they confirm that the tomb holding the remains of the slain gorilla Harambe has been found empty, with huge speculation as to whether or not he has risen from the dead.

Beloved gorilla Harambe has amassed a huge cult following since his execution in May by zoo officials who feared for the life of a young boy who had toppled into the gorilla enclosure.

Thousands of Harambe worshippers have taken to the internet to declare that the western lowland Messiah has risen from the dead as was prophesied, and will soon lead his followers into the eternal bliss of monkey heaven.

However, zoo officials were quick to downplay talk that Harambe might have returned from the dead, stating that his body may just have been stolen by over-zealous followers.

“We went to the tomb after the third day, and found the stone at the entrance had been rolled back,” said one spokesperson for the Zoo empire.

“We fear that the followers of Harambe may have stolen his body in a bid to continue this myth that he was the new Christ. He was not the Messiah. He was a very naughty ape”.

Meanwhile sightings of Harambe have been reported across the US, with many claiming that he has offered to allow non-believers to put their hands in his bullet holes as proof.