“I’m Gonna Miss This Old Place” Obama Caresses Guantanamo Wall One Last Time

“If you put your ear to it, you can almost hear their desperate screams for leniency”: the words American president Barack Obama emotionally uttered as he made one last trip to the Cuban detention centre, Guantanamo Bay.

Mr. Obama appeared to caress the wall like an old chum, whispering to it while maintaining an air of dignity in front of onlooking reporters who were there covering the largest single transfer of prisoners from the centre during his administration.

“I’m gonna miss this old place. No doubt Michelle and the kids will too,” the 55-year-old leader of the free world reminisced. “We would visit here on holidays every single year. It was our Sea World; just as cruel, yet packed full of wondrous delights you’d never find anywhere else,” adding, “a place like this grows on a man, like an Afghan beard. So many fond memories and faces I’ll never forget or see alive again”.

Sending off a total of 15 prisoners from Guantanamo, the US president began singing to the line of hooded men as they passed in chains to an awaiting Military cargo plane destined for the United Arab Emirates, thus leaving behind 61 untried prisoners at the US facility.

“And now, the end is near. And so I face the final curtain,” he bellowed out mid-salute, before concluding to a round of applause from everyone present, “My friend, I’ll say it clear, I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain. I’ve lived a life that’s full I travelled each and every highway. And more, much more than this, I did it my way”.