Joachim Loew Hasn’t Stopped Sniffing His Balls Since Euro 2016 Exit


“RIGHT after the final whistle I just got dug in, and I haven’t stopped since”.

WWN are speaking exclusively to Joachim Loew, manager of the German national football side and renowned sniffer of his own balls.

Although his side failed to secure victory at the semi-final stage of Euro 2016 when they faced France, the 56-year-old Loew managed to make a winning statement for millions of men worldwide who just want to scratch their undercarriage and give their fingers a good old sniff.

“It’s an important thing for men to be able to do freely,” said Loew, stirring his tea with one hand while mining for ball-sweat with the other.

“It’s an instinct. One must make sure that one’s balls haven’t picked up an infection, that’s all. It’s not poor manners or bad hygiene, it’s nature. Honestly”.

Loew’s stunning displays of both genital manipulation and arse-fingering at the Euros has lead to a resurgence of the practice, with many  men feeling that they can now pick their holes freely in public for the first time.

“I used to wait till there was nobody around before I went digging around in my arse cleft,” said one greengrocer we spoke to.

“But after seeing the German manager do it on live TV in front of millions, I don’t bother. As you can see, I’m arranging my balls right now. Finally, I’m free. Cheers Joachim!”