Paramedics Plead With Public To Bless Themselves When They Hear Ambulance


THE PARAMEDICS association has issued an urgent plea to the public to increase awareness of just how important it is to bless yourself when you hear an ambulance go by.

Levels of siren-inspired blessings have taken a dramatic plunge in recent years, with only one in fifteen people making the sign of the cross on themselves upon hearing an approaching emergency services vehicle. This is down from figures in the eighties, when the practice was carried out by practically 100% of the population.

The decrease has had a serious knock-on effect to the survival rates of people in ambulances, with huge amounts of patients dying in transit due to a critical lack of Father, Son and the Holy Spirit.

“It can be the difference between life and death,” said Paul Marshal, chief paramedic at a prominent Dublin hospital.

“We do our best to maintain the patient’s vitals; pulse, oxygen, blessings from strangers we pass on the road. A lot of the times, the patient will be medically fine, but the lack of blessings will just tip him over the edge. We were taking a lad who fell off his bike to A&E with a fractured ankle the other day, even though we kept the siren on full blast, not one person blessed themselves. Poor fucker never had a chance”.

It is estimated 2,357 people died last year alone from a lack of blessings.