Beloved Band Reforming For Festival Likely To Sound Awful


NEWS just reaching WWN suggests that a band which has reformed for another big payday by playing all the big festivals this year are likely to cause grievous audible harm to all die hard fans.

The band, which probably hit its peak popularity in the 60s, 70s, 80s or 90s, has a number of fantastic songs, but owing to the band members getting on in years will murder the songs, leaving fans devastated.

The lead singer, who by all accounts had a lovely and distinctive voice, will disappoint muddy fields everywhere after revealing that he or she now sounds more like a malfunctioning hoover that has just swallowed a deranged and feral cat.

“They were brilliant, gig was amazing,” is believed to be the most likely phrase uttered by fans who had the misfortune of being subjected to the pensioners on stage, when fans discuss the gig with people who weren’t there.

“The stage show was class, they’ve still got it,” will be another delusional refrain from fans who will try their best to pretend they enjoyed the band’s stage entrance, which was made possible by having 5 stair lifts on hand.

It is believed all members of the band maintained a straight face while robbing concert goers blind.

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