Is It You?! Last Winner Of Seanad Elections Yet To Come Forward

THE search is on for one lucky person who got elected to the Seanad yesterday, with sources close to the government hinting it may have been someone who bought their ticket in the Midlands.

The seats available in the Seanad are distributed into 11, chosen by the Taoiseach, 6 elected by universities, and the remaining 43 chosen by lucky dip: 59 of the Seanad 60 seats were filled yesterday, with just one anonymous winner yet to come forward.

The lucky new Senator will receive a guaranteed salary of €65,000 a year, with a possible additional €38,000 depending on his or her role. On top of all this, they will receive allowances for travel, accommodation, phone usage, all without having to produce any significant output during their tenure.

“This is the big one, this is the one you really want to win, ” said a Seanad representative, as the search for Senator 60 continued.

“If you want to be a senator, you don’t need to go through all that hassle of canvassing the public or promising to implement reforms or adhere to a mandate… you just prove that you’re opinionated and out-of-touch enough to be an Irish Senator, pick up your Seanad Streak ticket in your local newsagents, and you’ve got as much chance as the next person”.

Should the winner of the last Seanad seat fail to come forward, a rollover will take place, allowing the next winner to do half the work, for twice the money.