Jamie Oliver’s 15 Minute Meals Found To Take At Least An Hour And A Half

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SCIENTISTS are yet to discover a time-space anomaly that would allow the completion of a Jamie Oliver 15-minute meal in anything close to 15 minutes, and fear that the tasty three-course dinners will never take less than an hour and a half to cook.

The TV chef has spent years showing people how to cook a meal for your family in 30 minutes at first, before whittling it down to just 15.

However, researchers at the CERN facility in Switzerland have found that despite their best efforts to create a ripple in time that would give someone the ability to replicate Oliver’s olive oil-soaked meals in the supposed 15-minute window.

“It takes a half hour to even watch 15-minute meals,” said Dr. Hermann Goerinhn, chief of the Jamie Oliver time displacement project.

“Toast takes four minutes. A Goodfella’s pizza takes 20. But one can make a restaurant-quality feast in 15 minutes? Maybe on that planet from Interstellar with the time difference, but not here”.

Meanwhile, sources close to Oliver have said that the man is “obsessed” with breaking the ten-minute mark.

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