Man Who Smelled It But Didn’t Deal It Exonerated After 18 Years

THERE were poignant scenes in a Dublin office after a man wrongly convicted of farting 18 years ago was finally cleared of any wrong-doing.

James Kennelly, 42, stood on the doorstep of McKillan & Gernon at 5pm today and read a heartfelt statement in which he thanked his family and friends for standing beside him over the near-two decade long ordeal, and pledged to try and piece together what was left of his life.

Kennelly was just 24 when he was the first to smell a fart in the canteen of the Dublin accountancy firm, instantly bringing down suspicion upon himself due to the “he who smelled it dealt it” theory.

Despite protesting his innocence, a jury of his co-workers decided on the spot that Kennelly had farted and was trying to deflect blame onto someone else, saddling him with the nickname “the lad who farted” for the next 18 years.

After making sure to never fart in the office during the past 18 years, Kennelly was eventually given the benefit of the doubt by his co-workers, who finally accepted that someone else may have done the original fart.

“I was, and remain to be, an innocent man, ” said Kennelly, flanked by his two wives.

“The past 18 years have been a nightmare, and the worse thing is there are still people out there who believe that I am a farter, and that I tried to lie to cover it up. Because of this, I will continue to fight for wrongly convicted farters around the world”.

The farting case of 1998 has now been re-opened, with fears that the still-at-large farter may never be brought to justice.