Kid Who Ate All His School Lunch Looking For A Fucking Medal Or Something

A COUNTY Tipperary pupil was left unrewarded today after finishing all of his school lunch, despite the crusts being left on his sandwiches.

The parents of Cian Dignam confessed to being perturbed by the fact their son was so thrilled with himself, after failing previous attempts to ingest the ready-made-meal.

“He came home all chuffed with himself after saying he ate all his lunch,” mother Theresa Dignam told WWN. “The fuck’s he looking for, a medal?”

Mr. Dignam, who is eight and a half in May, brandished the empty lunchbox shortly after being collected by his father, James, who was also unimpressed by the whole charade.

“It’s like he’s looking for some sort of praise for feeding himself,” he said. “Every time he does something he’s meant to, he looks for something. He’ll be looking for a round of applause next, for breathing.

“Like, well done for staying alive, asshole,” his father added.

Unaware of his parents’ lack of empathy, a delusional Cian Dignam pondered on what treats await him later, hoping for a packet of Match Attax cards, or a new Playstation 4 game, stating that these items were the least his parents could do for making him eat luncheon roll every day for the past 8 years.