Lucky Bastard Has Accident At Work That Wasn’t His Fault


ONE jammy warehouse manager hit the jackpot this week, after being rammed from behind by a forklift in an incident that he was not responsible for in the slightest.

Michael Malone, was going about his daily tasks in Lennon Meats Coldstores when he took a forklift prong to the lower back, temporarily paralysing him and easily paying off a significant chunk of his mortgage.

CCTV footage confirmed that the forklift driver was 100% to blame for the incident, freeing Malone from any possible accusations that he somehow orchestrated or played a part in his own horrendous injury.

Cleared of any wrongdoing, the extent of his injuries combined with his lack of culpability means Malone is in for a huge compensation claim with literally nothing standing in his way, much to the envy if his co-workers.

“I’ve been working here for 20 years, and I haven’t so much as stubbed my toe,” groused one co-worker.

“That forklift could have hit me this morning, and then I’d be the one getting a sweet no-win no-fee compensation claim. Instead, I have to go on working in full health, dreaming of the day I fall off a ladder or something”.

As a further bonus, Malone is expected to never work again, leading many people at the plant to declare him the luckiest man alive.