Waterford Parents Still Not Finished Eating Children’s Easter Eggs


WATERFORD parents Angela and Michael Heaney have been forced to take the day off from work in order to complete the mammoth task of eating all of their children’s Easter eggs on the sly, WWN has learned.

With 4 children under the age of 9, the Heaneys began gnawing away at a number of eggs, including Maltesers, Mars, Twix, Creme Egg, Mini Eggs and Galaxy branded eggs but are still finding the task incredibly overwhelming.

“Ah, we do this as caring parents,” Angela said as she slotted half an Easter egg into her mouth, clearly fatigued. “Otherwise, they’d be tempted to pig out and God, that’s awful for their teeth, all that sugar. They’d get addicted or something”.

The dedicated parents are relying heavily on the fact that their children will simply forget how many eggs they received due to the comically large volume of eggs currently taking up space all over their home.

“They’ve about 50 eggs between the 4 of them, so they won’t miss 3,4 or 45 of them,” added Michael, who was on the verge of entering a diabetic coma, his body covered entirely in chocolate.

“See the young ones just don’t have any self control, and that’s where we step in, we have a bite or two of an egg, so that way we know they won’t be eating too much of the stuff you know?” Michael added, struggling to move closer to the fridge, where more eggs were stored.

Children Orla, Gavin, Jane and Simon had been instructed by their parents to play out in the back garden from as early as 8am this morning, with Angela and Michael closing over the curtains to the kitchen and locking the back door, allowing them that vital extra time to work their way through Easter’s remains.