Lovin’ Waterford: Check Out Our Essential Stud Muffin Recipe

WHAT has chunky fillets of man hunk got to do with a food blog? Absolutely nothing, but we need the clicks, and there’s only so much shite we can write about stuck up baristas and new donut places, so here goes nothing.

Seriously, we had no idea you wouldn’t really go for that ‘140 tapas bars on South William Street to eat at before you die’ post. Do you know how long it took to source those fucking gifs? Let’s begin:

The first step in getting yourself the perfect blend of stud muffin is to source the right ingredients.

Some of the finest gyms around the country possess men with admirable bodies, the key here is to gently separate the legs and arms from the body, and be sure to leave the brain behind, it brings nothing to the party. The meat should come away from the joints easily enough.

Next, the consummate stud muffin baker will head to a pub that sources its clientele locally. Seek out an individual with a doughy middle, this is essential in the baking process and will provide ample cushioning if and when you need to rest your head down somewhere when tired.

Season everything with a light sprinkling of personality, some like to really pour it on, but you should really season to your own taste.

Next, hit up a nearby stables. No, not for sourcing a horse’s cock. It’s just horses are majestic and graceful creatures and sometimes it’s good to take some time out of a hectic day and admire the beauty that is around us. You should have got a penis back in the gym, someone hung like a horse. Did we not write that down? Shit, sorry.

It’s always advised to spend that little bit extra on really high quality produce and if you can afford it, you can scrap the above method and just pay someone to kidnap Channing Tatum. That guy is the full package.